Tuesday, April 6, 2010


     So if you're uncomfortable with me referring to the most human of our human acts, click out now. I'm not going to get personal tonight but I am going to spread some of the love around about everyone's favorite topic: sex. If we're related or you've known me forever, please be advised, I'm not going to get embarrassing here. Just sharing some of my favorite blue-toned jewels on the internet that I've been told about, found on my own, or learned about in Bust
     Now, breathe easier: I'm not here to give you potentially viral porn sites or preach at you about sex ed in schools. I'm not speaking clinically or ethically. I'm talking about the whispers and the cackles. Of a group of women or men (or a mix of both) in the corner during a party spinning yarns. Stories are what I'm interested in. Advice. What's odd and what's becoming blissfully more out in the open. Of blaze freedom and humorous teenage repression. The entertaining and the ridiculous. The everyday and the totally out there. 
     I'll keep this simple, people. I'm not shy talking about it, but I do respect that some of us have deeper puritan ties and feelings, but still like to read and think about it in a private, totally educated and curious manner. So without further you know what, here are my favorite places to read about real people, and their real sex. And wasn't that a great show (Real Sex)

Scarleteen: I wish this was around when I was a teenager. The internet was barely around when I was a teenager. Although we did have a kind of wonderful sex ed program if I remember, at least things weren't all hush-hush then - it was the nineties so it was open if not a little scary and clinical. Anyway, Scarleteen talks about anatomy, self-esteem issues, gay/lesbian/trans-gender/bi topics, periods, and frank talk about more serious sexual issues. It's an open, healthy, honest place and if you have a teenage boy or girl (or are a teenage boy or girl) it's a valuable SAFE place. 
Inside/Out - from Scarletten
Deflowered: Abby Kincaid has created a small empire around the stories that we women have about our "first time". There's been a live show, a blog, and if I had a crystal ball I'd wager a book in the near future. You can submit (anonymously or openly) your own story, and read well-written accounts from women from varying backgrounds. 

The New York Times: Oh yes I said it. Find interesting and academic tinged sex-related news and commentary by searching here. Oh, look I went ahead and did it for you! There goes your guilty conscience. There's everything from gender and equality issues in the US and abroad to book reviews to dissertations on the impact of everything from wartime pinups to The Arabian Nights on our collective psyches. Smart and sexy!

Savage Love: I know you read the column in your town's weekly indy paper. But have you ever strolled through the site? You'll find the archive of questions and answers, good links from Dan and links to other sex columnists, and miles and miles of comments to anger and entertain. 

The Frisky and Jezebel have taken the guilty pleasure of fashion rags and morphed them with online zines to create a gratifying, veritable treasure trove of advice, humor, and insight in all things women's sexuality. This is far from Cosmo, people. This is honest, groundbreaking, and fun. Fun is important! There's even loads of thoughtful and sociology-bent articles for those who enjoy their sex-ed more Kinseyan or Masters & Johnson-ish. 

Since I'm in that vein, here are links to those above-mentioned pioneers' respective institutes (or what remains or is being said about them, in the case of Masters & Johnson). 
Kinsey Institute
Human Sexual Response (Masters & Johnson's trailblazing study)

Le mariage païen.Le mariage païen. - Courtesy NYPL Digital Archives

Now listen. Most of these are safe, free-thinking, broad-based resources. We're all aware that the internet is rife with some dark things and some light things when it comes to sexuality (and everything in between). To foster a healthy attitude about what makes us who we are, these are decent "jumping off points". I'm particularly interested in sex on a sociological level as a lover of all things anthropology. I don't claim to be an expert and I know for a fact there there are more frank sites than these. As a general audience member, these are good though. If you want more, I have more! You just have to email me for them, as I know that my family reads this so I'm not letting on which ones I know about! So there you have it.
From the Kama Sutra 
(PS - I've read that Mallanaga Vātsyāyana, the Hindu philosopher who wrote the Kama Sutra, was a lifelong virgin...discuss)

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