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I know it might not seem like it but my time on the internet is blissfully limited now that I'm no longer working outside the home. I have a small person that I'd rather spend time with, and I might be online looking, researching, writing, and communicating but it's dotted time, not really focused. I'm constantly up playing games, have long times in between where I'm cooking, cleaning, organizing, teaching Xander, taking walks, riding bikes, giving time outs, creating forts, making art, doling out clay and paint, etc. etc. etc. Just as I'm writing this I'm holding an intense conversation about the dreams we had last night, and we're also discussing whether Yoda can swim or not.
Late, late, late in the evening I have more focused time, but by then my contacts begin peeling off my eyes and I'd rather turn to my more ethereal writing and haiku. I also work on a project that my husband and I are working on during the wee small hours. So my point is (though this is a wavering point because I'm still fielding questions about Yoda and am a bit distracted) that I squeeze a lot into a little bit of time.
Like all of us I need reassurance and guidance in my professional (ha) life, in my case writing. I hunt and gather different sweet smelling books, magazines, and websites to boost up morale and siphon advice and tips that I might not have known about. And of course, I'm fixing to share some of them here.
Zen Habits: I have a blog crush on Leo Babuta. He's taken his personal life changing journey and turned it into an empire of simplicity. His articles are peacefully written and helpful. His Simple Links hop over to interesting places, people, writings, tips. His other blog Mnmlist hearkens back to the original blogs of yesteryear: simple and straightforward. His Zen Family Habits offers practical and reassuring articles from someone who's really a parent, and is totally non-judgmental. You'll like it.
Margaret Atwood's blog: Now I know that this might not do something for everyone. It just so happens that she's my favorite writer and it just so happens that she has a blog. It also just so happens that she offers tips and helpful advice from time to time and I love her even more for it. The Queen of Introspective Science Fiction (and regular fiction), the Poet Laureate of the Smirking People of the World is also an approachable, amicable, tweeting person. Check out her Ten Tips for Writer's Block.
(Image Courtesy CBC)
Brainchild Magazine: If you're a mom or dad or caregiver who's ever felt a little bit preached to from all sides of the spectrum (Holy hell the scare tactics of Last Child in the Woods and the Focus on the Family - how's that for two ends of the spectrum - and everyone else who blathers on and on about how we should be raising our children or the world will implode). Brainchild is smart. Funny. Subversive. Love. It. I need balance and slaps on the wrist back to reality daily and this magazine offers it all.
Deepak Chopra - Chopra Center blog: I really love the "Laws of the Day". You don't have to be a spiritual person or anything to use these words of wisdom. Here's an example, The Law Of Attachment: "Today I will commit myself to detachment. I will allow myself and those around me the freedom to be as they are. I will not rigidly impose my idea of how things should be. I will not force solutions on problems, thereby creating new problems. I will participate in everything with detached involvement."
Of course we all KNOW this and it's not anything NEW but sometimes we need reminders and blows to the head to bring us back to balanced living.
That's unfortunately all I can share today, as I have a particularly high strung kid today and it's taken me an hour to write a paragraph. Every 30 seconds some small disaster strikes and I am being called to active duty.
So if you're uncomfortable with me referring to the most human of our human acts, click out now. I'm not going to get personal tonight but I am going to spread some of the love around about everyone's favorite topic: sex. If we're related or you've known me forever, please be advised, I'm not going to get embarrassing here. Just sharing some of my favorite blue-toned jewels on the internet that I've been told about, found on my own, or learned about in Bust.
Now, breathe easier: I'm not here to give you potentially viral porn sites or preach at you about sex ed in schools. I'm not speaking clinically or ethically. I'm talking about the whispers and the cackles. Of a group of women or men (or a mix of both) in the corner during a party spinning yarns. Stories are what I'm interested in. Advice. What's odd and what's becoming blissfully more out in the open. Of blaze freedom and humorous teenage repression. The entertaining and the ridiculous. The everyday and the totally out there.
I'll keep this simple, people. I'm not shy talking about it, but I do respect that some of us have deeper puritan ties and feelings, but still like to read and think about it in a private, totally educated and curious manner. So without further you know what, here are my favorite places to read about real people, and their real sex. And wasn't that a great show (Real Sex)?
Scarleteen: I wish this was around when I was a teenager. The internet was barely around when I was a teenager. Although we did have a kind of wonderful sex ed program if I remember, at least things weren't all hush-hush then - it was the nineties so it was open if not a little scary and clinical. Anyway, Scarleteen talks about anatomy, self-esteem issues, gay/lesbian/trans-gender/bi topics, periods, and frank talk about more serious sexual issues. It's an open, healthy, honest place and if you have a teenage boy or girl (or are a teenage boy or girl) it's a valuable SAFE place.
Inside/Out - from Scarletten
Deflowered: Abby Kincaid has created a small empire around the stories that we women have about our "first time". There's been a live show, a blog, and if I had a crystal ball I'd wager a book in the near future. You can submit (anonymously or openly) your own story, and read well-written accounts from women from varying backgrounds.
The New York Times: Oh yes I said it. Find interesting and academic tinged sex-related news and commentary by searching here. Oh, look I went ahead and did it for you! There goes your guilty conscience. There's everything from gender and equality issues in the US and abroad to book reviews to dissertations on the impact of everything from wartime pinups to The Arabian Nights on our collective psyches. Smart and sexy!
Savage Love: I know you read the column in your town's weekly indy paper. But have you ever strolled through the site? You'll find the archive of questions and answers, good links from Dan and links to other sex columnists, and miles and miles of comments to anger and entertain.
The Frisky and Jezebel have taken the guilty pleasure of fashion rags and morphed them with online zines to create a gratifying, veritable treasure trove of advice, humor, and insight in all things women's sexuality. This is far from Cosmo, people. This is honest, groundbreaking, and fun. Fun is important! There's even loads of thoughtful and sociology-bent articles for those who enjoy their sex-ed more Kinseyan or Masters & Johnson-ish.
Since I'm in that vein, here are links to those above-mentioned pioneers' respective institutes (or what remains or is being said about them, in the case of Masters & Johnson).
Kinsey Institute
Human Sexual Response (Masters & Johnson's trailblazing study)
Le mariage païen. - Courtesy NYPL Digital Archives
Now listen. Most of these are safe, free-thinking, broad-based resources. We're all aware that the internet is rife with some dark things and some light things when it comes to sexuality (and everything in between). To foster a healthy attitude about what makes us who we are, these are decent "jumping off points". I'm particularly interested in sex on a sociological level as a lover of all things anthropology. I don't claim to be an expert and I know for a fact there there are more frank sites than these. As a general audience member, these are good though. If you want more, I have more! You just have to email me for them, as I know that my family reads this so I'm not letting on which ones I know about! So there you have it.
From the Kama Sutra
(PS - I've read that Mallanaga Vātsyāyana, the Hindu philosopher who wrote the Kama Sutra, was a lifelong virgin...discuss)
So, if you've been keeping up in the (ahem) "blogosphere" (I don't like that term), you might have heard that Dooce has been asked to participate in a White House Forum on Work Place Flexibility and that The Pioneer Woman has both a book deal (on top of her cookbook deal) AND a film being made about her romance with her cattle baron husband currently in pre-production. Starring Reese Witherspoon. Tell me again how blogs aren't influential or powerful forms of media?
Now I'm happy for these women, I read their blogs I akin it to watching a popular television show after months of abstaining because it's too popular, too fluffy, too vapid. Then your friends at work KEEP talking about the show in the mornings in the breakroom so you watch just to see what all the fuss is about. You watch, and it's entertaining (but not really mind-blowing) so you continue to watch off and on just to join in the chit-chat. That's how I feel about Dooce and The Pioneer Woman. Of course my first, knee-jerk reaction is envy - isn't that what Augusten Burroughs said in Possible Side Effects? Something about his "default emotion is envy, followed by rage...?" I'll have to skim through that book again and find it. It's precisely how I usually am. Envy first (why not me?), followed by rage (That bitch!), then usually recognition and respect. And then envy again.
I LOVE peeking in through virtual windows at people's lives that are different than mine. All over the world. I think that explains the appeal of the above listed ladies, we recognize bits of ourselves but also love peeking in the windows (even though we're obviously invited in) at another life. And the more photos the better.
So, with complete acknowledgement that I am a lifestyle voyeur, here's a list of some of the blogs that I peek into. These are personal blogs, the journalistic ones that offer glimpses into daily life, humor, tragedy, joy, etc. Some are new reads and some I've been following for years. My prerequisites are that they have to be well-written and thought out. The following are just that.
Scribbit: I've met Michelle in "real life" and she's a real down to earth sweetheart. Intelligent, articulate, and kind. She writes about a variety of things, from crafts to recipes to the meaning of it all. Right now she's in India and it reads like a beautiful travelogue. I first discovered her blog when we were contemplating our move up to Alaska. I literally googled "Reasons to live in Alaska", and a post she wrote popped up first. And it was written on my birthday!
Cosyactus: This is an icy gem of a journal (I discovered it through Imagine Childhood) about a small family in the very far North in Norway. It's written in English, and is a beautiful peek at a life that resembles mine in climate and motherhood, but so very different. Like a charming alternate reality. I love her post on local history in her new region.
Imagine Childhood Blog: The proprietor of the thoughtful shop Imagine Childhood writes in a light, airy, sweet tone about life in the outdoors where they live in Colorado (on a farm with lovely horses, sheep, and goats).
No Pablo Neruda: This beautiful Australian lawyer is a fierce poet. You'll be entranced.
My Sewing Serenity: I found her when I bought some knitted dishcloths and soap on Etsy from her (I can't knit or make soap - therefore I am not the atypical blog mother). She lives in Ohio I believe (my home state), and I love peeking into her tres femme life.
Sugar Boot and Weasel: I actually knew Anna Kiss years and years ago, when we were angsty coffeehouse teens in Dayton, Ohio. She's another solid writer, with two precocious (in a good way) boys. Her creative energy is kinetic, and I love watching what she's up to. She's totally honest as well, which is refreshing in the sometimes saccharine blog world.
Judy's Journal: I found Judy through her daughter Oona's blog, Playing with Spoons. They read my other blog and commented, so I did the natural thing and read through theirs. Both mother and daughter are artists, and Oona lives here in Alaska (I think!).
Sweet Pixels: Another Alaskan blog, though she's much farther North than I am. Another artist, she writes about projects she's working on as well as the beauty around her.
That's all I have time for now! But I have oh so many more. I think one of the joys of the internet is the ability to see people living on all sides of the earth, in all different lifestyles (really, these I've listed are a fraction of those I've seen and admired). We're able to connect with souls we'd never have the means (or reason) to otherwise.
So I'm going to share it here, what's the point of keeping it all cooped up inside? If it festers, it might metastasize and burst. Or worse! I'll forget about it and it will be buried forever in my bookmarks.
I found the blog A Journey Around My Skull around six months ago on a late evening (just like this). My brain works in quick fits and starts when the clock turns past midnight and I seem to pick up some sort of bizarro signal from the internet. My first visit I was on for about an hour, clicking away at the visually pleasing in a dada - ish surreal way shown in posts like this and this, and images like this:
Jiri Trnka, illus. for Fireflies, 1969 - Thank you A Journey Round My Skull person
It was the author's focus on vintage European picture books that initially drew me in (though how I found the site I can't divulge - I'm not even sure how I find the things I do. Luck? If so, good or bad?) and the rich, macabre, image-laden posts kept me clicking with interest longer than most blogs I happen upon. Even design ones, and I can click a design blog to bits (yeah, I'm talking to you, AT).
So here I'm sharing it. I've forwarded it several times to those friends of mine who enjoy a bit of the disturbingly beautiful, like my friend Tony. If I don't share I might forget it exists, and where does that leave you? Without a cool site to wind down an afternoon with while avoiding spreadsheets.
PS! Will from Journey Round My Skull has a hypnagogic photo stream on Flickr that's highly enjoyable. Here it is in all its nicely categorized glory.
PPS! I'm guessing the title " A Journey Round My Skull " is a nod to the perhaps original medical memoir of the same title. It's a topic I'm quite taken with, the effects of brain tumors both benign and malignant on the senses (and the formation of hallucinations visual, auditory, olfactory, etc.) I haven't read it (yet) but you can bet I'm opening up a new tab as I type this to put in on hold at the library (I had to do it Interlibrary Loan, by the way).
